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Heart & Soul
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Heart & Soul
By
Sienna Grant
Copyright
Copyright © 2018 by Sienna Grant
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law
For permission requests, write to the author, addressed “Request: Copyright Approval” at [email protected]
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
The authors are in no way affiliated with any brands, songs or musicians or artists mentioned in this book.
Acknowledgements
Every time I do one of these it gets harder and harder. I’m overwhelmed by the amount of support I get from everyone for my books from author friends to readers and to family. I can’t thank you all enough.
I really enjoyed writing this book. This character spoke to me and never stopped, Heart & Soul was so much fun to write. I’ll admit I’m tired and grumpy most of the time but it’s moments like this that make it all worth it.
To have your best friend and your husband tell you they’re proud of you is the best feeling ever. My 13-year-old daughter too is probably my biggest cheerleader. I couldn’t do this without the support of you so thank you. I love you so much!
Shell, my best friend, my sister from another mister - I love you! Plain and simple.
There’s so many people I want to thank. My editor Maria, she understands me and knows what I’m thinking all the time, she drops everything for me and I have so much love and respect for her, I don’t know what I’d do without her now. Thank you!!!!
Laura, my PA she gives me the kick up the arse I need to get my it into gear to get writing even though I have so many in the works. Thanks, my fiery ginger!
My reader group - Stars, they support me in everything and are always there to listen to me whinge and give me inspiration.
My author friends - I wouldn’t be anywhere without the love and support that you guys give me. I’m so honoured to say we’re friends and there’s a lot of you. TL Wainwright, Dani René, Jo-Anne Joseph, Joz Maxel, Harper Phoenix, Amali Rose, Sandra Jones, I could go on forever! To those listed and to the ones I haven’t, thank you to every single one of you for being there for me.
Jennah Thornhill you are my sounding board, you put up with a lot! <3
Lauren Renay, you’re the best. We may live in opposite time zones and I may blow up your inbox when I need you to read something I’m not sure of but you’re constant! Love ya!
My beta team, Lauren, Helen, Val, Rhonda, Sheryl, Cindy - you’re amazing! Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I couldn’t do it without you.
Thank you to Obsessed by books for all of the support and promotion - you’re awesome and also to Obsessed Designs for my amazing cover - I can’t thank you enough. <3
Finally, my readers. You readers are the backbone of every author, without all of you we couldn’t get our books out there. Whether it’s helping by reading an advanced early copy or buying on release day, I thank you from the bottom of heart. For every share, mention, you guys rock you are definitely my rock stars!
My sassy girls as a group. Thank you for everything, you’re amazing! Love you!
I hope you enjoy Heart & Soul as much as I’ve had fun writing it. This story and these characters took hold of my heart and didn’t let go.
Thank you for everything, you’re my Heart & Soul! <3
Blurb
Cassidy Summers was my heart. Music was my soul.
When my big break came calling who would I choose? All I needed was three months to tour. Three months to live my dream…
How did I know that my soul would break my heart?
At seventeen, I was the luckiest girl around.
Elliott Chase was my boyfriend and the lead singer of Soul Divider.
How would I manage without him for three months…?
When a second chance at love comes around years later...can they let go of the broken promises and lies?
When secrets are staring him in the face; will Elliott do what he does best and run?
After all, how do you find your soul when you no longer have a heart?
Music acts like a magic key to which the most tightly closed hearts open.
- Maria Von Trap
Chapter One
Cassidy
Past
“Jesus guys, I think we’ve done it. I’ve just had a phone call from a guy at a record company looking for new acts. He wants us to go to London to his office and have a meeting with him.” Elliott excitedly shouts as he comes running into the garage. His Mum, always lets them rehearse here. They’ve been trying to get someone to meet with them for months, but no one would give them a chance, but it looks like they’ve finally done it.
“Shit! When?” Asks Aaron, one of the band guys.
“In two weeks!”
Sitting on the speaker in the corner, I pull my knees to my chest and rest my chin on top. I want to be happy for him - for them. I’m just being selfish, thinking of how much I’ll miss him, even if it’s just a few months, but I don’t want him to go. The guys are so happy, they're hugging and making plans to celebrate tonight.
We’ve been going to The Anchor since I was sixteen, we know the owner, he was okay with us going in there especially since the boys play there. I’m seventeen now, Elliott and the boys are nineteen, there was no issue with them since the legal drinking age is eighteen.
Elliott catches my eye, tips his head to the side with a frown creasing his forehead and comes over. A finger lifts my chin raising it up until he’s in my eye line.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I’m fine.” I try to fix a smile on my face for his sake, I just don’t want to ruin this for him.
“You don’t look fine?” He wraps me in a hug.
“Ignore me, I’m really happy for you all.” Cupping my face in his hands he kisses my nose lightly.
“I’ll be back before you know it, I promise.” the back of his finger strokes down the side of my face.
“I know, I’m just being silly.”
“It’s just a meeting with him, he may not want to sign us. We may be getting our hopes up for nothing.”
He does his best to reassure me, but they’re really good, there’s no way he won’t want them.
“Well, if that’s the case then he’s crap at his job. You guys deserve to be signed up.” I smile sadly.
“I love you, Cass. Always.”
Smiling, I wrap my arms around his neck and lower my legs to dangle so he can step between them. He holds me tight, he always knows how to make me feel better
“You’ll always be my girl.” And I'm done for.
Three weeks later
Well, today’s the day. His bag sits packed in the corner of the room with his guitar standing up against it.
“How long do we have?” I ask between my sobs.
“A couple of hours.” Elliott looks at me with sad eyes, darker than the normal shade of green.
“Come here.” I shift across the bed and snuggle into his side, he rolls me over to my back and hovers over me. He gazes into my eyes, he’s always so deep, so intense.
He sings Always by Bon Jovi to me before kissing me, shifting his weight until he’s lying
on top of me and for the second time today, he slides inside me and makes love to me. Tears flow freely as the whispered I love you etch onto my heart and into my mind, so I never forget the sound of his voice…. like I ever will!
“I love you, Elliott.”
His coach ticket is in his hand, the guys are seated already, all in high spirits. They have to travel to London to meet with their manager, then up to Scotland, where they start the tour, then make their way back down the country. God, I’m gonna miss him so much. I haven’t stopped crying all morning.
“Do you really have to go?”
“Cass this is massive.” His arms encircle me, “this could be the big time. I promise three months and I’ll be back. I’ll write to you every week and call you every day. I love you. Always.”
I nod. My lips touch his in a wet kiss from the tears that have streamed down my cheeks. He wipes the wetness from my face as he kisses me one last time keeping him as close as I can. My hand is in his and I refuse to let go of it until I have to.
As he backs away towards the coach our hands part, he blows a kiss as he walks up the steps, then turns and takes his seat. His hand is against the window but blows a kiss to me from the other.
The tears continue long after the coach has gone, long after he’s gone.
Chapter Two
Elliott
Glancing back to look through the window of the coach, she’s still waiting. Standing in her cropped jeans and oversized baggy jumper which drops off the shoulder, it’s way too big for her. It was mine, but she refused to take it off. My full palm presses against the window as if she can actually touch it.
It’s just three months that’s all, I need to do this. Cassidy lifts her hand then holds it up, the fingers on her other hand wipe away the tears that have streamed from her beautiful eyes down the face that is only going to be a memory for the next few months.
“Oi, dude! Get a fucking grip man. She’ll still be here when you get back…”
Ignoring Aaron being a complete wanker - my gaze doesn’t shift from her, not until we turn the corner and I can’t see her anymore.
“You hope anyway. That’s if she doesn’t get sick of waiting.” He adds laughing.
“Shut the fuck up! Cassidy isn’t like that and say that again and I’ll knock you fucking out!”
“It was a joke!” His eyes wide in disbelief that I'd snap at him like that.
“Yeah, Ha-ha, my sides are sides are splitting. Twat!”
Automatically my head turns towards the window, I know she’s not there, but I look back anyway. Sighing, I turn back to the front. Three months without my girl by my side is going to crucify me. Instead of moping I decide to grab a nap. I get comfy, resting my head in the corner of the wall and headrest of the seat and close my eyes. Instantly my mind conjures an image of her but not any picture - no it has to be that one, but at least in my mind, I can see Cassidy anytime I want.
“Come on man, cheer up you grumpy bastard.” My eyelids pop open to Aaron’s voice again as he punches my thigh, so much for a nap. “We’re going to tour for three months! This was our dream... well it still is mine.”
I know he’s right I should be happy, but he hasn’t had to leave someone behind. The most important women in my life are there and here I am on my way to London. My Mum cried too, but she was so happy we were doing this. We'd spent the best part of our childhood in that garage practising just so we could be better and maybe one day get this chance.
Man up, Elliott. This is it. Our shot at being something.
“You’re right. It’s still mine too.” I admit with a nod trying to lift my own spirits.
“That’s the Elliott we all know. Let’s fucking do this!”
Sitting up straighter in my seat, my fingers fidget with the leather bracelet Cass bought me, she said it made me look sexier, I’m not so sure but I’ll take it. What Cassidy wanted, Cassidy had.
Either way, I realise she’s with me all the time while I'm wearing this.
Chapter Three
Cassidy
Waking up on my bed I feel like I’ve been drugged, my eyelids are heavy. When they do finally open, I stand from the bed and make my way over to the mirror at my dressing table. I sit down on the small stool; my face is sullen and blotchy. My eyes are hideous, they are red and puffy from crying so much. Going into the bathroom I splash some cold water on my face, but it doesn’t really help anything.
I don’t remember leaving the station, everything is hazy, I must have come back, collapsed on my bed and just cried myself to sleep. I remember waiting for the coach to turn the corner then I was gone. I was a blubbering heap on the ground as my knees buckled beneath me.
A knock on the door sounds and the knob slowly turns. My Mum pops her head around the door.
“Oh, Cassidy. Why have you got yourself so worked up? Look at your beautiful face.”
“I miss him, Mum.” I sob.
“Already. He’s only been gone three hours.”
“Three hours?! No way?” I shout, shocked at how quick the time has gone. I couldn’t have slept that long, surely? “Was I asleep the whole time?”
“Pretty much. At least two hours I’d say.” She wipes her hand down my face. “So why don’t you come down and I’ll do you a sandwich…”’
“I don’t want anything.” I cut her off. I know she’s trying to help but what’s a sandwich going to help.
“How about a cup of tea then?” UGH!
“Cup of tea? Yeah because that will make Elliott come back. Silly me for not thinking of that!” Why, through every emotional disaster do people think that tea will help...?
“There’s no need for sarcasm Cassidy, I’m just trying to help.” She says sharply screwing her forehead up.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her feeling bad for taking my mood out on her.
“Okay. I’ll leave you to it, come down when you’re ready.” Throwing my arms around my Mum’s neck I hug her tight. She peels herself from me and walks out of the door quietly shutting it behind her. Laying back down on the bed, I grab one of my teddies that sits on there and hug it resting my cheek on its head. Elliott bought me this for Valentine’s Day last year, it doesn’t shift from my bed, he’s not allowed to.
I’m sick of staring at the ceiling and not doing anything. Walking over to my stereo, I open the CD drawer and place the cd that Elliott had done for me. A compilation of all our songs in one place.
Over the next few days, I spend most of my time stuck in my bedroom and listening to the same disc over and over again. I want him to come back. I barely eat or drink and when I do I feel sick. My mum has tried her hardest to get me to eat and drink, but I refuse every time. Carson has been around, but I’ve sent him away too - Carson is probably my only friend, the only person I really want to see is Elliott and I know it’s not going to happen for a while.
Chapter Four
Elliott
Four weeks later
I’m trying to be happy. I’m trying to enjoy this experience of a lifetime, but I’m lost. Cassidy is my girl she should be here with me for this - the whole experience, but they wouldn’t let me bring her, not that her mother would have let her anyway. Standing on the edge of the stage looking out at the arena, it’s empty right now. It’s only a small gig. This place only holds three hundred people but for us that’s huge. We’re only a support act but we get to play for an hour so it’s all good.
The crowd cheers and claps as we get called onto the stage.
“Hey Scotland. How are you guys doing tonight? I know you don’t know us but we’re Soul Divider, thanks for being here with us!”
Taking the mic in my hands we decide to kick off with a couple of older songs and lead into some of our newer stuff, throwing in some covers in there too. The guys are loving it, I keep thinking I’m going to see Cassidy’s face in the crowd, but I don’t, it’s just my manic imagination because I’m thinking of her twenty-four seve
n.
The crowd was crazy, they sang along with our cover songs and even chanted for an encore, that feeling will never leave me for as long as I live.
Back at the bed and breakfast, I pull out the last letter I received from Cass. I can’t stop myself anymore, I need to read it, I need to feel her.
Hi Elliott,
I know you’re probably too busy to read this, but I hope you do. Wow, why is this so hard? I love you and I miss you so much. I want you to come home, but I know you can’t yet. I wish I could talk to you. I tried to ring the number you gave me, but it didn’t work. Oh my god I sound like such a whiner. I’m sorry.
Right then how is it? Are you enjoying yourself? Are girls throwing themselves at you - I hope not, you’re mine!
That bit makes me smile, she always said that when I said she was my girl. My eyes begin to fill up…
Anyway, there’s not much to tell really. Carson’s been around. I went to see your Mum the other day and she misses you as much as I do. I’ve not been too well either got a bug I think, or I’m just missing you, like... a lot. I sleep all the time and I don’t do anything else. Mum’s driving me crazy - like the mental type of crazy.
Anyway, I better go.
Miss you loads, and I love you - always will.
See you soon, hopefully.